Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
My nipple is on Facebook.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
