just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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