did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
