I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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