i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
