There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
My balls are so social today.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
