i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I think pants incapable of making pants work
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
