I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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