After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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