i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Randomize
