And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
