I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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