My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
