im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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