You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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