do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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