Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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