Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
That accounts for only three of the penises
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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