Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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