I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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