She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
