perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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