How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
