I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
