I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
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