Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
