i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
