first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
