this boner is exhausting
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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