oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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