i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
