They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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