hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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