i think my mom watched the whole time
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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