The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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