He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
