Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
