he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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