she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
