tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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