Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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