Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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