she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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