i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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