Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
