Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
