CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
