He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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