Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Come on in and take your pants off
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