And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
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