I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
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