it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
