fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
