that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
