Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
But break dance skills will only take you so far
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
