I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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