Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
