I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
