Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
