just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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