As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I had to cum in my sink.
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