You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
The power of my boobs compel you
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
And then he peed in my hair
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